by Marigold Jabla
Every time we embark on life’s new adventures, before we get our sea legs
on, we oftentimes drift for a while, unanchored, just wandering aimlessly in the vast ocean of being. But if we are lucky, a beacon of light almost always shines through the mist and fog of self-doubt and confusion, guiding us safely back to shore where we find our true north patiently waiting for our return to continue with pursuing the desires of our hearts.
It is with these thoughts that I sought to visit this old lighthouse at Laguindingan, Misamis Oriental, hidden away from prying eyes through thick bushes, a beaten footpath, and a no-entry sign. All signs of operation and activity are no longer there; what is left are the traces of the used-to-be, like the remnants of a demolished office and chain links around the tower that has obviously been desecrated by some curious individuals. Just minutes away from the airport and resorts frequently visited by people lies this majestic place, wasting away to time; it is remarkable how we go on with our lives, oblivious to the beauty that just sits, waiting to be rediscovered.
There it sits – like an old hobby forgotten through the hiatus of time and
adulthood, like an old friend we lost touch with and unexpectedly meet once again, only to find out that it seems like nothing has changed at all, like the pain of others hidden behind smiles and the battles that we never heard of because no one ever talked about.
I sat in silence as I watched the angry waves brought by the monsoon rains crashing against the foot of the cliff, trying to reclaim my lost peace and sense of freedom rudely taken away by the pandemic. I listened to the whispers of the surf, telling me that even in chaos, peace is always found within. The lighthouse towering over me reminded me that some emotions, even when buried deep without frequent visits, would still be where we left them – maybe ravaged by time, but the remains would still be there no matter how faded, because no grand thing, be it a structure or emotion, goes away without leaving behind an imprint of what it used to be.
We all get lost sometimes – others for a while and some for a long time. But to drift untethered in the vast ocean of life solely lies on our decision to seek the beam of light that would take us safely back to shore. One thing is certain; no number of forgotten lighthouses will ever wake a heart that has lost its will to follow the lights back home.
We lose a lot of things as we go through life – our childhood innocence that comes with trusting easily or our ability to love without reservations. Sometimes, we lose our faith, and for others, some hopes die. It is easy to succumb to the over-growing bushes of reality. There are instances when letting go is fairly easier than swimming against the tide – easier still to just allow the darkness to swallow us whole, curled into a ball. But swim against the current, and you’ll reach the other side much stronger, staying true to where your compass is pointing. Yes, we are all a little broken inside, but then again, that is how the light gets in.
My last thoughts as I walked the beaten path once again, my back turned against the lighthouse was: May all the lost souls be guided back home by the lights and love of those who care for them, and may all those who are at the brink of breaking find their guiding light within themselves.
The rain is falling now, and I would get soaked before I reach the car, but I realized that this is life reminding me that I AM ALIVE.
