by Mariegold Jabla
I woke up from my got-tired-of-waiting sleep, and switched my mobile data on. As I stare blankly at my phone screen at 6 minutes past midnight, I saw my face beside that of Ten Ilajas with the words on top:
98.120%—WINNERS | The Travel Intern Season IV
My eyes were still fixated on the screen. I read it again, and again. I sat up on the bed, disoriented and a little dizzy. I looked around the empty room, started to breathe slowly, and then whispered to myself: “I did it.” This is exactly the same thing that I said to myself not so long ago when I received the news that I was one of the semifinalists.
“I did it…” This time, there was a little quiver in my voice, and the rest, you could say, is history.
4th time’s a charm
I’d like to live by these words—well, not really—because had I not won this season, I’d still be around for the next, and I would probably say 5th time’s a charm… or the 6th, or the 7th, up until TPS (The Panoramic Soul) staff would tire of seeing my name and reading my letter of intent. I guess what I really want to say is that, giving up should never be an option, in life and in dreams.
My letter of intent was direct. It wasn’t even a letter of intent; it was a story—a story of an unforgettable journey to Cotabato City and how it taught me that love in all its glory will have to ask for a great sacrifice; it is to choose between helping someone discover himself, or you to discover yourself. I chose myself this time. I can remember that somewhere in that letter, I said that this time, winning won’t be necessary; I just felt that there is a story that I needed to tell.
I was in Iloilo City for a seminar when I received the first ray of sunshine I’ve had in months. The TPS team sent me a message at midnight saying that if I am reading that message, there is a big chance that I passed the first screening, and I was asked one scary question: “What will make you quit travelling?”
First of all, I was over the moon as I was re-reading that message inside the convention center. Most of the speakers and their topics faded in the background as I kept on reading the part where it said, “If you happen to receive this message, consider that you have a good chance of passing the first screening for The Travel Intern Series—Season IV,” over and over again. The wheels in my head began their dizzying search for the right answer, but it wasn’t until the eve of March 12, 2020 that I decided to sit outside my hotel room, on the balcony, that I started to listen to the chaos within and began writing.
Only 16 hours after receiving the message, I submitted my answer with my heart beating so loud I could feel the blood throbbing in my ears. My answer to that question? Contentment.
Personally, travelling has been my method for escaping whatever painful reality I face. It has become obvious that I wanted to escape because I have not made amends with my past, such that it manifests itself in my reality. My discontent has been appallingly apparent, such that most of the articles I have written speak of wanting to escape. What I discovered later on is that travelling will not ease my dissatisfaction with life but only strengthen my love and understanding of it.
Act II
Coming home from Iloilo City in the time when COVID-19 has hit close to home, flights were announced to be grounded, and all individuals with travel history will be forced to home quarantine for 14 days. To say that I was troubled would be the understatement of the year. My original plan was to traverse through the mountains of Rogongon (Iligan City) to take photos that I am sure would fit the description of this year’s theme, “Somewhere Different.” I was so set on that course that the home quarantine nearly ruined my will to push through with Act II, which incidentally is my waterloo in this competition, as in the previous seasons, I never made it past this particular part of the contest.
I anxiously informed the TPS team of my current predicament and was told to bank on my previous travels, so two days along my 14-day home quarantine, while trapped inside my room in total solitary confinement, I frantically scanned my phone for photos that might qualify as “Somewhere Different,” and by sheer luck, I stumbled upon a photo I took from the previous year of the breathtaking landscape of Claveria, Misamis Occidental.
My good friend and confidante told me that my entry should have the “Ay meron palang ganyan?” factor to perfectly fit the theme, so I heeded his advice and chose the field of orange flowers guarded by majestic mountain ranges as my entry for Season IV—my make or break decision. Then came the online voting, and because of my limited social media presence, I knew that I could not generate votes like my competitors. I was immensely confident with my photo and its accompanying write up, but I was hesitant about whether the votes that my photo would generate would be enough.
Miraculously, the meager 237 reacts that my photo generated carried me through the following act.
Two days before my 27th birthday, The Panoramic Soul posted the set of semifinalists, and my name was on the 6th place, garnering a score of 95.000. I cried. For three (3) consecutive seasons, I never saw myself on this list, and to dream of it being there is suntok sa buwan. This is the first time that I sat up on my bed, alone in my room, and I whispered to myself “I made it” in total disbelief.
That same night, a message was sent by the Editor in Chief about challenge that is meant to be to be completed within 24 hours. The challenge itself was composed of two (2) parts, the first one being a set of questions, and the second was an auditory experience in which we were asked to listen to an audio file and write a story based on the emotions evoked by the music.
I can say that the EIC challenge was an easy part for me as it was based on storytelling, which is exactly the reason why I am this competition. It was a good experience, but like most of the important things in my life, I did not dive right into the challenge. I sat on it and thought deep about how exactly I wanted to go about it.
First thing the next morning, I listened to the audio and started writing with ease. May 12, 2020 was when the results of the 24-hour EIC challenge was posted, and I found myself eye to eye with the photo that screamed my name, ranking 2nd in the final score.
The next day, we were assigned possible international destinations should we win the season. I was given the adventure title “Sun-Kissed Girl,” set to journey to Thailand, Myanmar, Palau, and Papua New Guinea—countries that scream spiritual connection and diverse people and places with promises of reconciling a person with herself through personal healing. This is the exact same thing that I have been missing in my life. If this assignment is intentional or pure coincidence, I guess I will never know, but I will forever be thankful for it.
Final Interview
The part that the semifinalists prepare for the most would have to be the final interview, as it would introduce the would-be winner to the rest of the TPS team members. This challenge taught me that my greatest rivals are myself and my flair for overthinking. As the date of the interview came closer each day, my overthinking started killing me. Bear in mind that I am a people person. I can charm my way through any conversation, but for some unknown reason, my insecurity started gnawing at me. Finally, the virtual interview began. I was fidgeting in my seat and squirming with every question that was thrown at me, although it didn’t last long until I became comfortable, and the interview turned into a fun conversation. I think I laughed more than twice. Overall, I think I did quite well during the interview.
Surprise, Surprise
This season has its ways of making itself remarkable by manifesting in the form of mini challenges (that don’t feel mini at all). One of the hardest mini challenges that almost made me cry is the challenge to write a 99-word love letter to someone. Easy, right? NO! Because, there is a catch—we needed to listen to a Korean song entitled “I miss you.” It would have been easy had I been a fan of the hyped Koreanovelas, but no, I have not watched one in more than 10 years.
Listening to the song the first five times, I did not feel anything at all, and although I have someone in my heart to whom I am yearning to write a letter, I did not know how to incorporate the song into it. I needed to be careful, because to write a letter without incorporating the song would feel like banking on emotions without following instructions, and that is a big no-no if I am aspiring to be the next Travel Intern, so I stubbornly listened to it all over again, dropped my emotional baggage, and cleared my mind until the sensations came to me.
Soon after that, another challenge was thrown at us in the form of storytelling after watching a video about Tuvalu, the least visited country in the world. Tuvalu made my heart ache, and it called to my soul with a deep emotional connection.
This challenge made me see that my connection with people has been and always will be stronger than with any form of land or seascape.
The Public Voting
Had I been told that the real bloodbath in this competition for me would be the public voting, I would have chickened out early on. The 2nd public voting
requires for my face to be posted on the TPS page with a brief introduction of me as an intern. This is when the real pressure landed on my chest like blocks of concrete. How do I sell myself for people to react to my photo when I barely reply to messages sent to me via Messenger? How? But hey, I made it this far, so I had to do whatever possible way to garner a higher number of reacts to my photo than the 237 votes I got for Act II. With the help of friends and family, my face got 1.4 thousand reactions, which is 7 times higher than the reacts I got during my first public voting campaign.
Impromptu Writing Challenge
The TPS Editor in Chief separated the 8 semifinalists into 2 groups and scheduled a video conference for the final EIC challenge. It was a rainy night, and the air was bitingly cold. The tips of my fingers are freezing while the conference was ongoing. The final EIC challenge was to interpret a powerful photo of a little girl intently watching a grounded airplane in an empty airport while the rain is beating against the window.
We were given 24 minutes to write our piece for that particular photo, and I completely blanked out. I stared at the photo intently for 10 minutes straight. I had to physically shake myself to focus on the matter at hand and force myself to really look at the photo and internalize what is going on. I wasn’t confident with the output that I presented. I cannot say that it was a fail, but I knew it wasn’t stellar. Had it been the basis for choosing a winner, I would not have had the title.
Top 5
June 25, 2020 was when the top 5 finalists were posted on the page. I remember waking up to messages from my cousins saying I made it. I had to see for myself—98.000. There was my name, sitting in the middle of everybody else’s. I am not one to settle for mediocrity, but this time, this is good enough for me—too good to be true, in fact.
Shortly thereafter, I began to panic again because I know that the Final Online Voting campaign would commence soon, and true to my small social media presence, I ranked at the bottom of the list for the 2nd time in the whole course of the competition. “There goes my 5%,” I thought to myself.
But I was already in the top 5. I have already gone farther than I have last season.
Photo Walk
The Social Media Manager’s Challenge came 2 days after they announced the top 5; the challenge was to write an uplifting article from the current time, inspired by a visit to a market/grocery store and to conduct a photo walk and integrate the photos into the article. Even before knowing which direction my piece would take, I was already bombarded by whispers of words flooding into my ear from my soul. I knew that it would be an article about people, not of me and how I am handling the situation positively, but of how the resilience of the people is inspiring me to move forward.
Before the 24-hour deadline arrived, I have already submitted my article with an ignited passion burning steadily in my heart. I was then very close to what I have been striving to achieve for 5 years. This is the first time that I felt that I have strong chance of actually becoming the Season IV Travel Intern.
Self-Evaluation
I have come to realize that my real journey is not of achieving great things in life, but of being good at something
, and that something is living. My TPS journey showed me that when the universe has written something for us, we cannot escape it. The departure could be cancelled many times—there would be re-bookings and redirection, but the arrival is inevitable. There is so much to be thankful for because of The Panoramic Soul, but if one is to bear the heaviest weight among many, it is this: for allowing this battle-worn adventurer to reconcile with herself.
For years, I believed that traveling will help me escape my reality, but each challenge thrown at us intern aspirants are adventures of their own into self-discovery, into forgiveness, and towards acceptance.
You only let go of something when it hurts—when it kills the passion inside you—but when it scares you and ignites the dreamer in you, that’s when you know that it is worth chasing.
I believed in destiny, and after 3 seasons of trying, destiny has brought me exactly where I am supposed to be, with the person that I am bound to share this journey with.
From your wave-tossed, life-scarred Season IV Travel Intern
