by Dianne Sanchez

I was preoccupied with random thoughts on my way to buy food supplies. For the past three months, I’ve only gone outside only about six times—either to buy groceries or to withdraw money from the nearest ATM. It is a different level of fear whenever I head outside. To calm myself down, I look out the window and empty my mind.

The roads are not jammed with vehicles, and the ride is smooth. Along the road, a couple of stores have finally opened. Street vendors have resurfaced. They have started assembling their stalls and displaying their products. There are street foods, fruits, vegetables, sanitary needs, flowers . . . ah, flowers. I remember coming across a short write-up about sunflowers. These wildflowers are known for their bright yellow color and their warm appearance like that of a sun, from which they got their name. It was said that sunflowers bloom with their head tilted upward, facing the sun. In the same article, it was written that on cloudy days, when the sun is in hiding, the sunflowers would face each other to share their energy. I didn’t know the sources, but it was a heartwarming message that I managed to keep it in my mind despite being the forgetful person that I am.

It was then that I started comparing the sunflower’s characteristics to that of humans; the sun representing “hope” and the sunflowers, us. We could all probably agree that life has not always been sunny. In more than two decades of my existence, I’ve witnessed a number of rainy days, stormy days, and even worse, days ravaged by natural disasters, such as earthquakes, floods, mudslides, and wildfires. However, even though these days were tragic, it comforts me whenever I recall seeing people relying on each other’s help in those trying times. Our resilience has been tested for much more than we could remember. We have made it through the tough times.

However, here lies one of the toughest scenarios yet. This pandemic is a whole different story. Our means of reaching out to other people are limited. Keeping distance is a way of showing we care. Physical affection is deadly. Hugs bring anxiety instead of comfort. We were not prepared for this. The article regarding sunflowers came to my mind once more, and I asked myself, “What do sunflowers do when they are alone and unable to find another one of their kind to turn to?” I hurriedly tapped on the search engine in my phone and input the keywords: “sunflowers,” “alone,” and “no sun.” With a click and after a short read, I discovered an interesting fact. It is true. Sunflowers do face the sun during their growth period, but there was no stated fact that sunflowers actually face each other when the sun is not around. Instead, the sunflowers face toward the east. You may ask, “why?” This is because the east direction is where the sun shows up for sunrise. I was taken aback by what I have read. The sunflowers know that the sun will eventually rise again, just like it always has.

After a few minutes of spacing out, we finally arrived. The market was rather crowded, contrary to what I expected. Here, I got to take a closer look at everything. The transportation system in this part of the city is almost close to normal, except that there are plastic covers between the tricycle drivers and the passenger seats. A few meters from where I stand, I see a traffic enforcer raising his left hand and waving the right one with enthusiasm to let one lane of vehicles pass across the street. I unconsciously smiled. He is one bright and hopeful sunflower. I turned to my right and saw a female vendor handing a plastic full of calamansi to a female buyer. They were both wearing washable masks, but their eyes were smiling. This goes the same for the other vendors I observed around me. Oh! This public market is full of hopeful people. It was a beautiful sight.

I’ve always felt like the world stopped for the past few months but here stood, surrounding me, people who kept going. In the same way, I’ve always felt guilty about staying safe in the comfort of my home while the other people have no choice but to risk their lives and go outside. However, what I was unaware of was that these people are strong. They may have no choice but to find a way to make a living for them to survive, but the attitude they display is so beautiful to behold. They chose to look toward the direction of the sun, and their optimism is contagious.

I smiled again, more brightly. I went on my way to buy the things that I needed and returned home with a few weeks’ worth of food provision and a whole new perspective. I look forward to the day the sun shines again, and until then, I’d be looking toward its direction as proof of the hope I am holding on to.